A little note from your lord and master

I had a major shock today, the world does not resolve around my little house. In fact out behind it there is a whole bigger world. Today Humans and felines, I went... OUTSIDE. I don’t mind telling you all that I was in fact quite scared, there is so much stuff out there and sooo many new smells. I have to say I was momentarily alarmed.

Though it has given my ‘World domination’ plan a little bit of reassessing to think about, for instance it’s going to have to be bigger. I WILL have everyone in this vast world cower and my paws.

Musings of a sensitive cat.

I believe that when I am finally in power I am going to make all humans do a mandatory scratch of my ears every morning. It’s just so nice sitting their having your ears played with. Of course once I have had enough of the attention I have to attack the hand that is doing the scratching, how else are they to know that they are no longer permitted to touch me?

The dog and I have not been getting on too well lately; I believe that she is trying to muscle in on my space. I do believe that she has her own agenda and has growing ambition that she too will rule the world. This is just not on. She must realise that only a superior being such as me would surely be capable of completing such a fete as domination and then ruling. I don’t know what she’s thinking, all she seems to care about is food, and really what kind of world will that be if we are all made to bring her food. Oh no it just won’t do! I’ll just have to have a little chat with the bitch... 

Terrible behaviour on behalf of the humans!

They have started locking me in the kitchen! It’s terrible I tell you. Apparently I have forced them to this because I won’t leave them alone while they eat, apparently I make it impossible. It’s shocking; it really is. Locking someone of my cuteness and magnificence in a kitchen! Okay, I suppose they give me some milk in a bowl which I have to say is just divine! But it is really not the point and I will not stand for it any longer.

I plan to start a protest, I will make it impossible for them too to catch me, and if and I doubt it they will catch me, I will defend myself with what ever means possible. I plan to get the lady dog on my side also. She also seems to be in the same opinion as me, that they should share every piece of food with us. I mean I would quite happily share some of my food with them, they’ve just never have asked. I can tell you now though humans, this will not be tolerated!!

Pratical Joke!

What you sniffing at?

Today is a good day! I managed to play an awfully amusing joke on the humans! I let the prickly thing which I believe is called a hedgehog? (Stupid name if you ask me) escape! Ohh my dears it was so effortless! I just knocked over the little fence and waited for the cries of “the hedgehog has escaped” to fill my gorgeous ears. I didn’t have to wait long. The humans were in such a panic! Oh it was so funny! They nearly destroyed the house looking for the little thing. Everyone was in crisis mode. I just sat back and watched the drama unfold. It was delicious!

It took them two days to come across the thing. The dense idiot had hid himself in one of the bags of clothes in the back bedroom. Ohh how I laughed! I mean how stupid can you get? Hide yourself in a bag of clothes?? Why not just make a run for it too freedom? Or at least hide some place nicer! Geeezzz if I was that prickly thing I would of built a whole new house under the floor boards! I’d take over the house from the inside. But of course not every animal can be as educated and brilliant as me.

Hello Humans

Hello humans, my name is Kit. You may call me Mr Kit. I am a very intelligent kitten, well I must be right I am after all using a keyboard!!

My reason for starting this blog is to let you all know about my progress with world domination. Its going to be easy. I figure this for the simple reason as all other life forms that I have encountered are just plain dull. My owners for instance, they have no idea what so ever that I am running an evil operation right under their very noses. They just give me food and tell me how cute I am, and lets admit it people I am awfully cute. But deadly never forget that!